Why? #9

In my post Unexpected #5 we talked about the joys of the honeymoon stage and the possible outcome of being on a honeymoon with out protection. LOL After finding out I was having another baby we started planning to buy a house and continued planning the wedding which was set to be in November of 2011. That gave us plenty of time to plan and for me to loose all my baby weight and have a #sexyweddingbody. I started being serious about work because we would definitely need the extra money for both the baby and the new house.
One Wednesday afternoon, I left work early and decided to go to Sawgrass Mills to do a little shopping. I started walking around and began to cramp. I didn't pay that any mind because when I was pregnant with King I cramped a little in the beginning. Well I continued to walk around and the cramps got worst. I then decided to go to the bathroom. When I got there I saw that this was not just cramps and that I was now bleeding.
I called the mister and told him what was going on. He told me that we should go to the hospital. I drove home to get cleaned up then King, the mister and I drove to Memorial Regional Hospital.

When we got there they took some blood and had me piss in a cup. LOL *Reminds me of FAMU clinic* Then we sat in the room until the ultrasound technician came. The mister and King left the room because it was a vaginal ultrasound. The tech was all happy and talking to me. She asked me how I was doing and how far along I was. I told her I was fine and I believed I was only 9 weeks pregnant. Then she got quiet. It was that silence that let you know something is wrong. I tried to look at the screen but she turned it away from me. I knew at that point that something was wrong. She finished the ultrasound then said that she hope I felt better soon.

When the mister walked back into the room he noticed the sad look on my face. He asked me what was wrong but I just told him that I was fine. After about 30 minutes the doctor came in the room to talk to us. She looked at me and said that I was having a miscarriage and that there was nothing that they can do to stop it. She said they would give me pain meds and want to admit me just in case they have to remove what was left of the baby.

As I sat an listen my heart was breaking. I couldn't even look at the mister because I knew that he was hurt. The doctor walked out of the room and it was only King, the mister and I left to process what she had just said. I finally looked at him and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I began to cry because I knew that he was looking forward to being a father again. He was hoping that we would have a little girl so that he can spoil her even more that he spoils King. He came over to the bed and held my hand. He couldn't find the words to say to console me but just him being there let me know that everything would be okay.

That night I lay in the hospital bed and cried myself to sleep. I wanted to know what I did wrong. Why did I loose this baby? I just couldn't understand. I was slowly slipping into a depression.

Blog challenge continued...

Well last month I took on a blog challenge & failed miserably. I mean I was doing will the first week. But then life took over and I was unable to complete the challenge. *sad face* Well after getting a #subtweet from #oneofmyfollowers I have decided to continue the blog challenge starting today until the end of month. I apologize to all my followers for not completing the challenge but I am still filed with lots of ideas and hope that you all take this journey with me.

If you have forgotten the rules of the challenge here they are....

"Accept the challenges so that you can feel the exhilaration of victory. -- George S. Patton"


Yours truly has been issued a challenge by one of my faves:

Starrla Monae

to post one blog a day for the month of August....
Oh my this will be hard because I work 12 hour shifts & sometimes I can't even remember my name let alone to post a blog but I will try my best. This should be fun because everyday something exciting happens in my life & I am always dying to share but I never find the time. But this month I will so sit back & enjoy!

Blessed #8

The other day I was talking to a friend of mine that happens to be a single mom. She was talking about how hard it is to take care of a 2 year old alone. That got me to thinking. Sometimes I complain about taking care of King and how he's driving me crazy but I am so lucky to have his dad be a constant part of our life.



The mister has been here from the start. Although I sometimes say he doesn't do enough I must admit that the best thing he could do was be there. The mister and King have the most loving relationship of all.



Every time we come home King is excited when he sees his dads car. He jumps out of the car and says "Daddy's Home!" As we walk into the house the first thing he does is look around the house to find his dad so they can talk about their day. Although this maybe small to some, it is the most amazing feeling in the world. Now a days there are so many single parents in the world. And I couldn't imagine raising my children alone. The mister is the best father and provider I know. I am so Blessed to have him and so happy that my children have him in their life.

Curfew #7

cur·few   /ˈkɜrfyu/ Show Spelled[kur-fyoo] Show IPA
–noun
1. an order establishing a specific time in the evening after which certain regulations apply, esp. that no civilians or other specified group of unauthorized persons may be outdoors or that places of public assembly must be closed.
2. a regulation requiring a person to be home at a certain prescribed time, as imposed by a parent on a child.
3. the time at which a daily curfew starts.
4. the period during which a curfew is in effect.
5. a signal, usually made with a bell, announcing the start of the time of restrictions under a curfew.
6. a bell for sounding a curfew.
7. (in medieval Europe) the ringing of a bell at a fixed hour in the evening as a signal for covering or extinguishing fires.
8. a metal cover for shielding a banked or unattended fire.

As an adult, we all feel as if we don't have to answer to anyone. That we can come and go as we please. But my question is this, When you are in a committed relationship with someone and you live together, should you have a curfew? Is it ok to come and go as you please? Is it ok to come in after the sun is up?

I will not necessarily say that you should have a curfew because you are an adult and you know what's right and wrong. But when you live with someone, you must respect them enough to come home at a decent hour. If the sun beats you home, we have a problem. Not only that, if the shoe was on the other foot you would not be too happy about it.

Do unto others as you would have them due unto you!!

Models #6

In middle school I was really tall and skinny. And because of that, I wanted to become a model. My mother signed me up for Barbizion Modeling. My cousin and I use to go every Saturday to practice being a model. We learned how to walk the run way and pose like mannequins. We also learned to have proper posture which I really needed. Because I use to let my height get the best of me. While attending these modeling classes, my mother spent lots of money in hopes of me really getting a shot like Kimora Lee Simmons. That shot never came and my mother was done with them ripping her off every weekend.
After that experience I got more involved in sports. I began to run track, cheer and dance. And I loved it. It was actually more fun than modeling. It also made me more toned so I wasn't this tall and skinny chick anymore.
Once I got to college the modeling opportunities showed there face again. At FAMU, they have several different modeling troupes which are really good. But for some reason I decided to stick to dancing.
As I look back on my modeling experience and see how these chicks out here today that claim to be models, I realize that industry is not for me. Now a days as long as you take some sexy lingerie pictures you are a model. O_O WTH if that is the case than everyone is a model. What happened to having pure beauty? Just because a man ask you to take half naked pictures of you, it does not make you a model.
I am so happy that I didn't get caught up in that life style. Because so many chicks are being taken advantage of just wishing for that big break. Being the next Tyra Banks or Kimora is most little girls dream but if every photo shoot you are naked, that won't be you. Woman need to understand that you don't have to be naked to be sexy. Leaving something to the imagination is sexier than putting it all out there. So if you are reading the post and you inspire to be a model, I hope that you are not allowing anyone to take half naked pictures of you in hopes of becoming the next big thing. Because all you might every be is Ludacris next video girl.

Unexpected #5

During our Valentine's trip we had a blast. Life was great and we did not care about anything. We made love all weekend and forgot the condoms.... It was just that serious. Not once did either one of us stop and think that it was possible for us to conceive a child with all this love making and no protection. That was not on our minds because we were the happiest people in the world. Nothing around us mattered... Not even using protection.
That was until the drive home. I looked over at the mister
Me: Babe we are tripping.
Him: What are you talking about?
Me: All weekend we made love with no protection like we are ready to have another child.
He looks at me with the Oh Shit look!
Me: When we get home, I will stop to the pharmacy and pick up the Plan B.
Him: Ok cool.

We drove back home holding hands and talking about all the excitement from the weekend. We had a great time but missed King and was ready to pick him up. When we got home I ran to Walgreen's and purchased the Plan B. I took it as directed and went on with my life.
The mister and I were still on our honeymoon, even though we were back to reality. We made love every night and went on dates every weekend together. The only difference is we made sure we used protection because we weren't ready for another child. The plan was to purchase a new house and then get married fall of 2011. That would give us enough time to save for both.
Well a month after the engagement, I began to cramp really bad and got my monthly visitor. But this time something was different about it. So something told me to take a pregnancy test. And low and behold it was positive.

I cried and I cried because this was not part of the plan. We were not ready for another child. I was working on my sexy body for my wedding. I told the mister and he was excited. He wanted to have a little girl to make our family complete. Although I wasn't completely thrilled just seeing the excitement in his face made my heart smile and I knew everything would be ok. At that moment I accepted that we would have another child by the end of the year. What an engagement?

The Honeymoon #4

After the proposal in the Keys, the mister & I had a few drinks before we went back to our hotel. I called everyone I knew and told them the good news. I tweeted all my friends and updated my Facebook Status so that everyone knew I was soon to be Mrs. Williams. I was honestly the happiest woman alive.
After a couple of drinks we walked back to the hotel room holding hands and gazing into each others eyes. At that moment all was right with the world. We got to our room and the Honeymoon began. We began to kiss passionately before we could even close the door. Because we had been traveling all day I suggested we take a shower together. Once it the shower it was on and poppin. There was so much touching, and kissing and sucking and Oh yeah that other *ing too. LOL We were making sweet love.
It was so good I didn't even wear a shower cap & I actually let my hair get wet. LMAO
Once we got out of the shower I decided that I was gonna put on a show. Since it was Valentine's weekend I had went out and brought several pieces of lingerie before we got to the keys. And because this man just asked me to be his wife I wanted to show him a helluva good time. I put on my sexy red bra with the matching boy shorts. When I walked out into the room I knew he loved it. See my man is an ass man. He loves to see me in thongs & boy shorts.
I walk out into the room and his face lights up. So I ask him if he likes? He says of course then ask if he can take some pictures of me. Usually I would've put up a fight but this man just asked me to be his wife & we had been drinking too. I was like sure Daddy! Then I started to pose for him like this was a photo shoot for Playboy. Once we were done taking picture we got back down to business. We made love all night and day. Actually most of our trip was spent in that hotel room enjoying our engagement honeymoon.
We were so happy and so in love. Nothing else around us mattered. NOTHING at all. It was just the mister & I enjoying our life together and imagining how great our life would be once we were married.