Sunday, November 8, 2009

My Story

OK so we are back to all the hype about the Rihanna & Chris Brown incident again. For some this situation is just that of teenage love but for me, it is way deeper than that. I mean this is coming from someone that has been there and done that. Let me start by saying this, Violence is wrong in all ways, shapes and forms. It is not okay to put your hands on anyone point blank period.

This is my story and it all started 7 years ago. It was my sophomore year at FAMU. I began dating this guy. We will call him C.F. Things were perfect between the two of us. We spent all our time together. Him and I were so in love. Spring semester was coming to an end and I was going home for the summer. The night before I left he came over to spend some time with me. While he was there I was packing my stuff & we were trying to have enough sex to last us for the entire summer. LOL Well around 2am I began putting my clothes in my suitcase. He started going through my stuff. He would take out different clothing and ask me why I'm taking this and that? Am I trying to wear for my N-word in Miami? And I was like No babe. We might go out and I just want to be prepared. He started getting mad and was throwing my clothes all over the room. I am on the bed crying and begging him to stop. Trying to make him understand that I wasn't going home to be with anyone. Well the more I cried the angrier he became. He tried to leave and I was trying to stop him.

That is when it happened... He slapped the SHIT out of me. I mean he hit me so hard I fell back onto the bed. At this time I stopped crying out of shocked of what had just happened to me. I could not believe he hit me. Why would he do this to me? I mean it was only a disagreement. Once he realized what happened he tried to hold me and was apologizing for what had happened. He was telling how sorry he was and that he did not mean to hit me. As he held me, I cried on his shoulders. HE PROMISED ME THAT IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN. I believed him and we finished packing my stuff and made sweet love until it was time for me to catch my flight home.
Time went by the summer had come and gone. Now it was Fall Semester and C.F. and I were still together. Things were a little rocky now. He had been cheating but I just could not let him go. One night after the club I was over his house. He had been drinking and someone (The chick he was cheating with) told him that I was in the club dancing on some dude. As soon as I walked in the house the argument began. He was going on and on about how I can't be trusted. He said that I was acting like a Hoe by being all up in some N-words face when I was suppose to be his girl. The moment he said I was acting like an HOE I got defensive and started cursing his ass out. We went back and forth for a while and it happened again.
POW!!! He slapped the shit out of me AGAIN!!! I cried and screamed but you said you would never hit me again. YOU PROMISED!!! I was so hurt. Not because he hit me but because he broke his promise to me. He tried to apologize and console me but I was done. I got all my stuff and left. That night I cried myself to sleep. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked at my swollen lip and just cried.

I could not tell anyone. I didn't want to tell anyone because in my heart I loved him and I wanted to believe that he would never hurt me like that again. That next day I stayed home from school because I didn't want anyone to see me like that. I didn't want anyone judging me or telling me how stupid I am for letting him hit me. They don't know me or our life together. C.F. Had been calling me all night and day but I would not answer. Not because he hit me but because he broke his PROMISE to me. We finally talked a couple days later. He was outside my apartment with Flowers, fruits and a card. I let him in and we talked about everything. He apologized again and said that he was going to seek help. That was Fall of 2002.

We continued to date and he continued to cheat. But I was on some at least I'm his main chick. Ha!! That was dumb but I was younger back then. Now it is the End of Spring 2003. His homeboys just graduated from FAMU & they are having a party in Thomasville, Ga. My crew and I decide to drive to Thomasville for the party. I knew that C.F. would be there but I had on the shortest dress I could find but hell I was cute. When we walked in, I could see that he had been drinking but I went over and said hi. He told me he liked my outfit and that he would be watching me. I laughed and walked back over to my friends. We started drinking and was having a good time. I was on my best behavior because I knew that him and his friends were watching me. As the night was coming to an end, he texted me and asked if I was coming home with him because his mother was out of town. I was like ok that is straight with me. I drove with my friends until they there were comfortable enough to make it back to Tally. When I got in the car with C.F. he asked me if I needed anything. I suggested that we go to Walmart so that I can get a tooth brush and some undergarments. By this time it is like 3am. We are on our way to his mom's house and my phone rings. I look at the caller id and send it to the voicemail.
C.F. Who dat?
Me: My Friend
Him: What friend? Why can't you answer the phone?
Me: It's no one important. The phone rings again.
Him: Answer the phone.
Me: No
He grabs the phone and answers it. I start looking out the window wishing I would have went home with my friends. I hear him on the phone going off. Who the F is this? Why you calling my girl this late at night? What the F you mean she your girl? N-word don't call my girl again? He hangs up. I am still looking out the window. Him: Oh so you got another N-word.
Me: No I don't. What the hell are you talking about?
Him: Man don't F-ing lie to me. This N-word just told me you was his girl.
Me: Whatever you don't have to believe me. I ain't got POW!!! He slapped the shit out of me. I'm screaming "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM?" He hits me again and again. I am crying. I can't see. I am trying to jump out the truck. He keeps hitting me. We finally pull up to his mom's house. He jumps out with my phone and my purse. I lock all the doors and jump in the back of the truck. He has the keys and he is mad as hell. I have blood every where. I can not see out my left eye. He opens the doors and tells me to get the hell out. But I will not move. I refuse to move. He goes around to the back of the car and I climb back over the seat to get the hell out the car. I can't let him take me in this house. He is going to kill me if I do. I jump out the car and start to run. I am screaming and he is getting pissed off even more. I am praying that someone hears me and can save me from this mad man. But they don't and he catches me. He drags me back to the house and he beats my ass some more. By this time I can't take anymore and I realize that I have to kill him before he kills me.

I run to the kitchen and grab a hammer. It was the only thing that I saw at the time. When he runs in the kitchen after me. I throw the hammer and it graze the side of his face. He turns and looks at me. I know that he is gonna kill me....