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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Why? #9

In my post Unexpected #5 we talked about the joys of the honeymoon stage and the possible outcome of being on a honeymoon with out protection. LOL After finding out I was having another baby we started planning to buy a house and continued planning the wedding which was set to be in November of 2011. That gave us plenty of time to plan and for me to loose all my baby weight and have a #sexyweddingbody. I started being serious about work because we would definitely need the extra money for both the baby and the new house.
One Wednesday afternoon, I left work early and decided to go to Sawgrass Mills to do a little shopping. I started walking around and began to cramp. I didn't pay that any mind because when I was pregnant with King I cramped a little in the beginning. Well I continued to walk around and the cramps got worst. I then decided to go to the bathroom. When I got there I saw that this was not just cramps and that I was now bleeding.
I called the mister and told him what was going on. He told me that we should go to the hospital. I drove home to get cleaned up then King, the mister and I drove to Memorial Regional Hospital.
When we got there they took some blood and had me piss in a cup. LOL *Reminds me of FAMU clinic* Then we sat in the room until the ultrasound technician came. The mister and King left the room because it was a vaginal ultrasound. The tech was all happy and talking to me. She asked me how I was doing and how far along I was. I told her I was fine and I believed I was only 9 weeks pregnant. Then she got quiet. It was that silence that let you know something is wrong. I tried to look at the screen but she turned it away from me. I knew at that point that something was wrong. She finished the ultrasound then said that she hope I felt better soon.
When the mister walked back into the room he noticed the sad look on my face. He asked me what was wrong but I just told him that I was fine. After about 30 minutes the doctor came in the room to talk to us. She looked at me and said that I was having a miscarriage and that there was nothing that they can do to stop it. She said they would give me pain meds and want to admit me just in case they have to remove what was left of the baby.
As I sat an listen my heart was breaking. I couldn't even look at the mister because I knew that he was hurt. The doctor walked out of the room and it was only King, the mister and I left to process what she had just said. I finally looked at him and I could see the hurt in his eyes. I began to cry because I knew that he was looking forward to being a father again. He was hoping that we would have a little girl so that he can spoil her even more that he spoils King. He came over to the bed and held my hand. He couldn't find the words to say to console me but just him being there let me know that everything would be okay.
That night I lay in the hospital bed and cried myself to sleep. I wanted to know what I did wrong. Why did I loose this baby? I just couldn't understand. I was slowly slipping into a depression.

1 comments:

seminta said...

Wow.......this blog was pretty intense. No one will never know what you go through unless its been experienced by themselves. I know that you probably heard 'everything happens for a reason' time after time again. It's true. God knows what he's doing and why its being done. Be and continuously stay encouraged because the best is yet to come