Friday, October 16, 2009

Semi- Single

When I think about my life and my relationship I always feel as if I am semi - single. I mean when I fill out any paper work it ask if I am married, single, widowed or divorced. And what do I choose??? SINGLE!!! Why is that? Because this man has not put a ring on it. When I first heard that damn Single Ladies song I thought that it was so dumb. But then I had to sit back and evaluate my almost 4 year relationship with the Mister. I mean 4 years, a son, more drama than necessary & I'm still checking off single on all my important paper work.. *rolls eyes* Something has got to give.

I know that if I planned a wedding that he would show up and marry me. But what woman wants that. I want this man to know that deep down in his heart I am the only person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. I want him to decide that he wants to make me the Mrs because there is no one else in this world that he can see with that title. I want him to go to Zales and see the most perfect ring that he would love to see on my finger, purchase it and ask me to marry him. That is so not a lot to ask for. But hell 4 years later and I still just the baby mamma.

And I guess that's where the semi part comes into play. The Mister and I have lived together for 3 1/2 years. We have a 2 going on 3 year old son. Our relationship is something like that of Yvette and Jody on Baby Boy. SN: My all time favorite movie. LOL!!! If I told the Mister that I am single, he would flip his lid. I mean how the hell am I single when I lay next to him every night. How am I single when he goes to work every day to come home and take care of his family? The family in which I am a part of. How am I single when I am the mother of his son & if I listen to him, the soon to be mother of his daughter? *blank stare* What the hell do I look like?

This N-Word think I will have another baby without a ring or a change of last name? He must be stupid. What do I look like the old woman who lived in the damn shoe? If or when I have to leave his ass I would like to have the least baggage possible.

I already got one kid but then to add another would just be silly. Men might accept one but two... Nah I'm straight. He can get that baby batter until he ready to change my last name. But at this point, we are just shacking.

But to the Mister I am not single. I am not up for grabs and he wish I would tell anyone that I am. When it comes to all things IMPORTANT I AM. So this is the story of my Semi - Single life. The life of a woman that is putting in all the work for the title but is still just the BABY MAMMA. The Life a Struggles of a Semi - Single full time mother, employee and student. Stay turned for the excitement, love, and heartache of this thing called LIFE.